Image: Vera & Jean-Christophe.
Image: Vera & Jean-Christophe.

Sup dude…uh brother…home…eyy? Yehhh cool cool coolio man, remember me? Your dad bought me on your parent’s honeymoon…Antigua? 1986? No? Well I’m only bloody back in mate! The Hawaiian Shirt! All those years of being mocked, they’re over! Old people don’t wear me anymore, it’s all sex, drugs and rock and bloody roll these days. Goodbye karaoke, t’ra early bird dinners and thank you Hunter S. Thompson.

Can you wear me? Sure, you’re under the age of 50 and you’ve only got a bit of a paunch (all those flippin alco-pops you wacky kids are into these days.) The best thing about me is that even though I’ve been pretty well-worn all summer long, I still look pretty uuh groovy? Funky? Well into the cooler months and there is still a pretty plentiful supply down at your local hip second-hand, I mean, vintage shops. I can be worn for days, and more importantly, nights, since the more smelly and beer-stained I become the closer to Johnny Depp you look. Although shorts, sandals and socks are optional, you can basically be associated with the coolest journalist and sexiest actor who ever lived, ever – ever – by wearing one piece of clothing which your Uncle Bob definitely still has and would love to give you.

Don’t worry about the weather getting a bit nipster you hipster! The sun’s still shining 40% of the time anyway. There are some sartorial solutions to this problem too, you can wear one of those sweet string vests under me (a la Cliff Richards Summer Holiday) and I’m sure you’ll keep me warm with a beer jacket anyway, yeh? Am I right?

The best this about the Hawaiian shirt, er, well, me, is that Hunter S. was a full advocate of the weird or, more accurately, the mentally unhinged, thus, the more odd/like a junkie you look, the better! That means, old jeans, double prints, odd socks, whatevs. Zany stuff eh?

Let me just give you some advice before you wear me though, son. I mean, I’m down with whatever, totes, but just remember shoot for the stars, not your arms.

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