1. “The problem I’ve found is that once people move to London they don’t come back” (The correct response to that is “Why is that a problem?”)
2. “Bit far innit?” Really? I never even bothered to look where London is before I decided to move here for three years.
3. “Your worst enemy will be your bank balance.” The reminder is appreciated.
4. “Do you really want to get away from us that much?” That is quite a big assumption.
5. “Your debt will be so much bigger than if you’d gone to a ‘normal’ city.” Do you want an applause for your understatement
6. “Don’t get shot.” I’ll try?
7. “Can you afford that?” Short answer? No. Long answer? Hell no. But the answer I’m going to give you? Student loans.
8. “Once you’ve moved out of the student village, be prepared to live in a flat the size of a cardboard box that resembles a jail cell, around a three hour commute from the university. Oh yeah, and have fun!” Great pep talk.
9. “Make sure you have safe sex!” As opposed to the dangerous sex I’m having anywhere else?
10. “Isn’t East London a bit dodgy?” Not that your words of wisdom are wrong, but it is not necessarily the most encouraging thing to say to a person.
11. “Well, you can move back in with your Mum and Dad when you’re done. You’ll be back to Yorkshire before you know it.” Thanks for the vote of confidence.
12. “You won’t be the only drunk on the tube, that’s nowhere near as fun!” What, as being the only drunk on other public transport?
13. “East London doesn’t count.” -sounds of loud sighing-
14. “Wait, Queen Mary? Isn’t that in Oxford or somewhere?” -explodes-