Do You Like Short Shorts?

Shorts. There are always just so many to choose from when shopping. Tiny little hot pants or a statement pair of culottes. Perhaps a pair of ‘flippy’ shorts so everyone thinks you’re wearing a skirt or a pair of ‘mom shorts’ – yes , this style exists in Topshop. Understandably, they are incredibly practical; what’s better than putting on that first pair of new shorts in the bright warm sunshine of Summer? Or if you’ve run out of jeans and the best solution for a quick outfit on a night out is shorts and tights? However, my opinion on shorts varies very drastically. How are you meant to choose the right pair, and even worse, what if they shrink when you put them in the wash and then you have to worry about the horror of the bum-cheek peeking through, so walking in public consequently becomes a task of yanking them down your legs every few minutes, to onlookers who look completely unimpressed.

I remember the days of Sixth Form, and the first Summer holiday with my girlfriends. No, I didn’t head off to a party island in Greece or Spain, but the Summer essential at the time was a pair of very short shorts. Why did people think these were socially acceptable? Yes it’s good to flaunt what you’ve got (occasionally), but I absolutely hate walking around and seeing beautiful ladies looking so exposed, in fact I even find it embarrassing. Worst of all, I was an offender of this too.

So how on earth does this relate to my experiences in the chilly city of Melbourne, because I assure you, my shorts will not be leaving the wardrobe any time soon. Well, last weekend I ventured to the famous MCG, otherwise known as the Melbourne Cricket Ground. It hosts the cricket (obviously), and Melbourne’s most supported and serious sport: a fast-paced game of ‘Aussie Rules’ – Australian Footy. Dressed in my warm thick jumper and not so aesthetically pleasing brown and yellow ‘Hawks’ scarf and hat, I turned into a loud spectator in the 100,000 person capacity stadium. The game was great. Despite being absolutely freezing when the final whistle was blown after just over two hours of play, the intense sport, which reminded me slightly of rugby (huge males diving into each other for a tackle) kept me captivated. Yet, what surprised me the most was the attire of these very tall athletes – of course they were wearing shorts, but I can’t emphasise enough just how short they were…

You would think that given the diving, tackling and running they do, body protection/armour is a necessity, just like American football. Oh no, quite the opposite, and I found it hilarious. It just looked completely out of proportion, and just so surprising to see men rocking the short shorts look instead of young, or maybe not-so-young ladies. It’s not just at the footie that I’ve acknowledged this daring sense of dress, but walking around college too. As I’ve mentioned in a previous article, the one place you will find the guy you’re looking for is in the college gym, and if not, then parading around college complete with said tiny shorts. I’m not sure if it’s a sense of pride in Australia, showing off one’s incredibly toned legs, but it’s certainly not considered unusual – only the Brits here have really noticed it.

And how could I forget the ‘skort’ which has arguably been the trend of this Summer? I’m fairly hopeful this is something I won’t have to see a guy wearing in Melbourne, although maybe I’m being too optimistic. Hey, it’s definitely nothing to complain about, it’s just a great sight to see.


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