1) The OCD Freak
Sorry, not sorry for waking you up by ramming the hoover into your bedroom door. Reeking of Dettol (can’t be sure they’re not drinking it) and persistently soaking stained pans. Sometimes leave ‘how clean is your house?’ playing in communal areas.
2) The Atom Bomb
Tick. Tick. Tick. You get on really well most of the time, but sometimes you hyperventilate when they spark up conversation because you know it’s only a matter of time until the pin falls out and it you have the verbal equivalent of the apocalypse.
3) The Mother Hen.
‘Well what are you having for tea? Just beans? Thought you’d say that so I’ve cooked enough spaghetti bolognaise for eight.’ ‘You came back at WHAT time? Is that safe?’ ‘Should you be doing that?’ I’M ACTUALLY THE SAME AGE AS YOU, OKAY THANKS BYE *takes spag bol*
4) The Tea Drinker
Student life throws out some surprises, and days are unpredictable, however one thing that you can be sure of is there permanent presence in the kitchen, industrial box of tea bags and them hugging and chatting to the kettle.
5) The MIA
‘Hey, erm me again, just wondering if you’re okay? I’ve noticed absolutely no movement in your room since you went out last Friday?’ ‘Hi, it’s me, are you okay?’ ‘Yeah cool bro, been chilling in a brothel with some totally cool guys I met in Hainault’
6) The Gamer
You know, the ‘I’ve got no time for flat meals, post mine under the door’ type house mate. Lectures aren’t important but incessant staring at this screen is…
7) The One that still goes to Drapers (awkward)
No one is really sure who it is they go with, but you can be certain that once you smell that Sainsbury’s cologne spread through the flat like wildfire of the nostrils, Drapers are hosting one of their infamous events.
8) The Perfect Flatmate
The magical wizardly being that we may never know…
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