1. There is always someone at Oxford Circus with too much shopping taking up most of the floor, proving your feet to be less important than their new jeans.
2. At Stratford, someone will try and jump on, even if the doors are 1cm from being shut and there’s another train in a minute, they have to be on this train.
3. Being constantly afraid that a stranger across will make eye contact if you’re sitting beneath the match.com adverts.
4. Everyone gets off at Holborn and you have no idea why, or what exciting thing could be there?
5. When people who aren’t from London ask you which train to get to come and see you, you just say “The Red Line”.
6. No one actually knows where Chancery Lane is.
7. Nor does anyone know where the trains go after Leytonstone. The Hainault Loop could be Disneyland for all we know.
8. At Mile End, you stare longingly across the platform at the nice, new and, most importantly, air conditioned Hammersmith and City line trains, and sigh deeply.
9. Bank station is a maze and there are moments when you feel that escape is so impossible that you may require a tent for the night.
10. It’s the nearest line that continues to work on weekends, and actually goes to Central London – so unfortunately, we can’t really complain…