The Innermost Thoughts of Waiting to Meet a Friend in a London Pub

  1. “This is the place she said right? I’ve guessed wrongly about five times so far. It can’t be this grotty, old, gross –opens door– …surprisingly fancy inside place…”
  2. “Right I’ve got to find a table somewhere with two chairs…two chairs…unless she’s planning on bringing- wait, two chairs!” –pause – “…Well I guess I could just stand at the bar for a bit.”
  3. “God, it’s so busy here, I can feel the eyes of Canary Wharf in suits in every corner.Why would people with this much cash want to come to a hipster joint like this any-WAIT DID I SEE TWO CHAIRS-no, no I did not.”
  4. “If I wait to order behind most of these people, I will have enough time to learn telepathy and transmit that I want two G & T’s through thought alone.”
  5. “So, if I check my phone at least every seconds will the time I have to spend waiting to order pass any faster-WAIT, TWO GIN AND TONICS!”
  6. “Okay, so I don’t know how any card machine can possibly take this long. This is actually pretty worrying now, what if I went too far into my overdraft, that top the other day was a treat and everything but I didn’t think- Oh thank god it’s working.”
  7. “Right, drinks CHECK. Now it’s just seating to arrange. Maybe if I just squeeze past this suited gent I can perform a Mission Impossible bend and then maybe…”
  8. “So that resulted in me having a little less T in the G & T. Said T now seeping through my skirt unto my tights.”
  9. “Where on earth are you, it’s nearly-OVER HERE! I’M HERE!”
  10. “It’s so good to see you and first round is on me, so long as next time, it is you who must dance the dance of find-seating-and-drinks in a crowd in the most busy city in the whole damn universe in terms of being in a pub at 5pm.”

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