Looking After Your Downstairs

I’m going to talk to you about something that plagues most of us ladies at least once in our lifetimes: thrush.

Not the nicest of topics, but after a friend recently went through the horror of thinking her vagina had exploded somehow, I think it necessary to give everyone the down low…

So you feel a little funny down in your nether regions. You seek the guidance of that fountain of medical knowledge, the NHS A-Z health directly: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Thrush/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

It’s led you to letter T, aaaaannnddd looks like you’ve got thrush.

First things first,


  • Just assume thing will get better on their own and ignore your symptoms
  • Use savalon – trust me, bad move.
  • Look at crazy “home remedies” No one wants, or should have, garlic shoved up their fanny. I will, however, vouch for the magical power of yoghurt. Eat it, slap in on your fanny – natural yoghurt only though! Don’t let that muller fruit corner anywhere near your lady garden.

If it’s your first instance of thrush (lucky you) it’s recommended you go see a doctor to confirm a diagnosis. If however, you’ve had thrush before and you’re sure of your diagnosis, fixing your fanny couldn’t be easier. You can pick up a variety of treatments at your local chemist. Big Tesco in Bow and Big Sainsbury’s in Whitechapel (QM staples) both have in-store pharmacies.


  • A handy pill – treats the infection from the inside
  • Cream – treats external symptoms
  • A pessary – put it up your hoo ha. Like the pill, it treats the internal infection. Downside: can be messy, wear old underwear

PRO TIP: Don’t waste your money on branded products, chemist will stock their own-brand version of all the treatments that are half the price. And don’t even bother with prescriptions. Again, buying of the shelf is far cheaper.

Although thrush is not an STI, women can pass it on to their male partners although this is quite rare according to my local friendly neighbourhood sexual health clinician. Unless he shows symptoms, don’t worry about it. If, however, you find yourself getting repeat infections and your with a regular partner, it may be worth getting them to pop an anti fungal pill to ensure he’s not just asymptomatic and is passing the infection back to you after you get treated.

If you find yourself getting repeat infection, go see a doctor. In my experience, it’s far more conducive to go to one in a walk in clinic than it is seeing your GP. They seem far more competent dealing with gynaecological issues whereas one GP I went to refused to make eye contact with me after I used the word vagina…

Look after your fanny people. Listen to it, treat it well, and it’ll treat you well. Everyone’s happy.

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