The question that dominates people’s mind when someone claims to be a Foodie is this: What exactly is a Foodie? How do you know that Foodism is a way of living an alternative lifestyle? Are we not all Foodie’s based on the fact that we need food to survive? Well that’s where I come in. As a Foodie, I have experienced the effects of Foodism first hand and have suffered the consequences of it resulting in regular food comas. Not only are there internal effects, but it also effects your physical self and mentality. Foodism increases the chances of many reputation busting effects like, forgetting that you wore your only formal interview shirt to Big Easy to get ribs resulting in getting Barbeque sauce splattered on it, or making the mistake of wearing a tight pencil skirt to an all you can eat Indian buffet. But what is important in recognising a Foodie is that they…we, are still people and want love. So I’ve compiled a list that helps the normal folk in recognising and diagnosing someone with Foodism in the hopes that there are no outcasts in the midst of a simple food eating society.
*Be aware that one needs to meet at least 5 of the criteria to be classified as a Foodie.
- They are in a constant state of chewing.
- Their Pinterest account consists solely of boards entitled “Noms” or “FOODFOODFOOD” as well as following only food related pins.
- Whenever you ask them to go out to eat, you are bombarded with suggestions and indecisive notions concerning what mood they are in and how they can complement the expected meal with the mood being experienced.
- The words Deep fried, Marinated or Slow-cooked printed on a menu is like foreplay before the big event, the meal.
- Celby Richoux’s “Bacon & Butter” cookbook is referred to as lifes compulsory text.
- Every time you ask what they want to do of an evening, their response is either a discombobulated array of food related shouting that emulates the pitch and tone of Gordon Ramsey, or just two simple words: “Take-away”.
- Carries either Hot sauce, Salt sachets or mixed herbs for those “Emergency lack of flavour” times.
- Will stare at a menu for the same amount of time as you with full knowledge of 70+% of the menu and the exact order they want.
- Their bank statement consists of the following: Food Outlet: £12.50; Food Outlet: £3.65; Important material for University: £1.50; Food Outlet: £16.00
- Intoxicated does not mean “Drunk” to them, just too much ice-cream.
There are no known cures of Foodism, so if you or anyone related to you if effected by Foodism, just satisfy them with their vice. Make sure that if a Foodie seems to become angry after accusing them of being a Foodie, show them your phone with a Hungry House voucher or possibly a picture of melted cheese and you’ve just avoided an explosion. Good luck!