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Awkward…QM students share their 21 most embarrassing sexploits

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1. My boyfriend and I were having enthusiastic sex while his mum was out and I put my knee through his bedroom window. We tried to explain it away, but she wasn’t convinced.

2. I was going down on my ex and got a nosebleed. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

3. Once when I had sex the condom stayed in afterwards. He had to go back down and pull it out. Not my finest moment.

4. It’s not sex, but I was making out with this guy who liked biting and sucking lips. After a while mine went numb and when we stopped I accidentally dribbled all down my front. Not sexy.

5. The first time I had sex with a girl I got a bit too excited and accidentally peed on her leg. I pretended it was cum and left very quickly.

6. My most awkward sexual encounter was when I was invited to a threesome with an attractive couple. I thought I’d hit the jackpot until I was asked to leave halfway through. And that is the story of how I lost my virginity.

7. I’d gone to the cinema with friends before hand and bought some chocolate covered raisins that I’d thrown on the bed when I got home. I had sex later on and when we pulled back the sheets after I realised the chocolate raisins had melted and been smeared everywhere, leaving a very suspicious looking stain. I don’t think he believed me when I tried to explain.

8. My first kiss I didn’t really know what I was doing and ended up sucking her tongue until she told me to stop. I never got a second date.

9. As I came I let out a riotous, cheek clapping fart. She was nice enough to laugh about it, but I was still so embarrassed.

10. We were having spooning sex when my dad opened the door and came in to ask about dinner. Luckily I was wearing a shirt so I don’t think he noticed anything, but my ex was still inside me during the whole conversation. At one point he moved and I let out a small yelp that I tried to pass off as coughing, but I don’t know how convincing it was.

11. Her mum found my used Valentine’s lingerie.

12. My boyfriend and I wanted to try anal and we ended up doing it on my mums new sofa. He pulled out too fast and…substances went all over the couch. I blamed our dog Rosie, and my mum still holds it against her! I feel awful!

13. After my housemate moved out early we were clearing out the last of her things from her room and came across a hidden box of whips and paddles. We didn’t know what to do and thought it best to tactfully post it back to her. Unfortunately her dad has the same initials as her and thought it was his. I am so glad I wasn’t there when he received it.

14. I brought a guy back home drunk. In my state I thought I was being discreet until the next morning when my very pissed off and very sleep deprived parents greeted him by his first name despite never having been introduced and reminded me that their room was right below mine.

15. I went back to a guys house and halfway through I looked up and realised his dog was in the room, casually watching us. I felt so awkward I couldn’t continue.

16. I’ve said the wrong name. More than once.

17. I didn’t realise how loud we were until my housemates started calling my boyfriend by his sex names.

18. One time, no matter what position we tried, we couldn’t find my vagina. I don’t know what happened, it just got very shy. I’ve never forgiven my vagina for it.

19. After sex we were lying there and he was still inside me. Then I sneezed, getting snot all over him, while simultaneously pushing out his dick with all the accompanying fluids. It brought a new meaning to the phrase ‘from both ends’.

20. We were having sex in a park after dark when a dog walker happened across us. All three of us froze, staring but not sure what to do. In this end I asked if he was having a good evening, to which he replied ‘yes thanks, you?’ I said I was and he went on his way. It was so surreal.

21. We were trying to spice things up a bit by bringing whipped cream into the bedroom. It was a new cannister and I didn’t think it was working, so I pointed it towards my face and tried to see what was going on. Turns out it worked just fine and it went up my nose.

 

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