Living in this new Information Age (AKA the Digital Age, the New Media Age or the Computer Age, srsly there are so many names) where we have an unparallelled ability to share and access data, sex has been put in the public forum like never before.
The Kama Sutra is no longer the only place to pick up sex tips, Cosmo offers a ‘position of the day’ feature on their website and, if that’s too tame, there’s always a plethora of online porn you can get your hands on. But, outside of the obvious, how can we use these new technological advances to the benefit of our sex lives? Well, let me tell you, there’s an app for that.
Outside of the obvious, Grindr and Tinder I’m looking at you, the app store offers loads of ways to work out your kinks. So here’s a breakdown of five of the friskiest apps:
For those of you who see Tinder or Grindr as more ‘window shopping for hookups’ than actual dating, this offers a safer, sexier alternative. Anything you don’t want undesirables getting their hands on (see nudes, sex videos and the like) are locked up securely on your phone.
The only people who can access them are you and the person you share the password with. This can be fun for couples, too, who enjoy a blow-by-blow account of their bedroom antics. It also limits the potential for revenge porn, leaks, or accidentally sending your belfie to your housemate.
Bumble considers itself a ‘feminist dating app’. Its layout is similar to Tinder, in terms of the swiping thing, except only the female participant in a successful match can initiate conversation. In terms of a match between people of the same gender, the leap-year rule is null and either may begin the chitter chatter.
It eliminates the endless stream of crude sexual remarks that often accompany any matches made on Tinder, though if the woman doesn’t make the first move within the 24 hour time limit the match expires. It can seem a little harsh, but it does show you how serious you are about a match.
3) Sexy Vibes
The name is not subtle, and it pretty much does what you’d think. Download the app and your phone becomes a vibrator. What’s more it can be controlled remotely by a partner, meaning either the two of you can recreate that dinner-table scene from The Ugly Truth, or your long-distance relationship can get a new lease of life.
Though some people don’t like the idea of using your phone to do the nasty, for those of you who don’t mind, or own face wipes, it’s simply all more reason to buy that textured phone case you’ve been looking at.
Kind of like if Netflix and Chill had a love child with Tinder, Mimitate asks the user to post a selfie accompanied by what they’re watching. If another user likes what they see, they return the gesture with a selfie and program/ film of their own. It’s pretty funny and quite sweet, plus you can’t open up a dialogue until you return the interest vis-a-vis selfie, which removes the worry of unwelcome comments.
This final offering is one for those of you with specific kinks you want addressing. The app doesn’t use Facebook; instead you choose a nickname, meaning you can remain anonymous if you like, and input some info about yourself (e.g.: gender) and your fetishes or kinks. Just a heads up, the questions are very specific.
The app will then attempt to find you a partner to match with. There is, however, a fee for the full version of the app. A free version does exist, but it is a bit limited so, unless you’re happy to pay the full price, this might not be the one for you.
Obviously we want you to be safe, people, so do be mindful when sharing personal information on the interwebs. Now, with the serious bit out of the way, go forth and download!
Bonus Feature: OMGYes
OMGYes is designed for tablets and uses touch screen to simulate a vagina’s pressure receptors. Based on information given from thousands of women OMGYes offers users the chance to practise their pleasure-giving and even offers tips. It sounds funny and the website’s almost eerily glossy, but it is a safe, educational way of teaching women about their bodies, normalising ya bits and female pleasure.
Basically an interactive vagina pops up on your screen and you poke different bits of it until the exercise, ahem, comes to an end. It is costly, however, and not everyone has a tablet, but if you can get over the weirdness of having a talking vagina on your tablet, it’s a good idea.