I am a self-confessed supporter of the magic of Tinder. Though tinder may get some flak, I can confirm that it improved my self-image, my social skills, my sex life, and it’s a great way to find new bars. I even got myself a lovely Tinder boyfriend (I promise it can happen) but before that there was a lot of dates, ‘ghosting’, crying, sex, and fun. I’m here to debunk some Tinder myths and give you the real experience from the heart of a veteran Tinderella.
First Dates: They’re terrifying. The most important thing to remember is that you’re probably both equally shitting it. My tried and tested technique is what I call the ‘job interview’, you project all of your best ‘qualifications’, your winning personality, and keep asking and answering questions (no one likes an awkward silence). I promise even if it’s not a great date, it’s liberating to go out and do it.
Sleeping With Someone: If you want to sleep with them, then do it – but you don’t have to. There’s no such thing as a three date rule. If you do it stay safe, Tinder does not do STI checks unfortunately. I’ve done everything from take someone’s virginity, to a gent with a foot fetish. The key is to have fun and accept it’s always a little awkward the first time.
Ghosting: Sometimes you’ll think you’ve met your match, you’ll have great dates, crazy chemistry, and you’ll thank the Tinder gods for them – and then they’ll ghost you. Ghosting is when communication suddenly ceases with no explanation. It’s painful and confusing. The important thing to remember is that if you’re not worth a reply then you don’t need them, so thank god that they’re not wasting your valuable time anymore. Move on, you’ve still got it, let someone else appreciate what a great date you are.
Actually Finding Someone: This isn’t a myth, I can tell you. I was a hopeless romantic who fell for people who didn’t have the time or commitment for my soppy little heart. After another ghosting situation I thought fuck it and set myself up on another date. Our first date went from a quick walk in the park to ten hours of magic. I was his first Tinder date and he was the first boy to convince me to delete the app.
At one point I found myself on a date a week, planning twice as many dates as I went on. When one didn’t work out, I felt fine as I had two others in the pipeline already. I felt confident and like a go-getter, putting myself out there. But I have to say now I’m a lucky girl for finding myself a decent match in this mad app world, but if I hadn’t embarked upon my Tinder journey I doubt I would be the girlfriend I am. Tinder taught me to be confident, to put myself on the line and be vulnerable, to get back up and carry on.
No date is a wasted experience.