Virginity has seemed to have held a high status within human culture throughout the ages. Back when religion weighed heavily on societal and moral values virginity was considered a virtue and something to be kept sacred and held onto until one was married. Nowadays, society openly accepts sex before marriage and today it is more common to feel left out if you’re still a virgin in adulthood. So what is it about being a virgin that plays so much into our development, and what does it mean to lose it?
I personally am relieved that sex is developing into an open dialogue these days. As a society we have evolved into accepting sex as part of our everyday culture, be it within or outside of marriage. In fact, some even view marriage as a way of subduing your sex life, and think sex peaks in their single years. We have scientifically developed contraception as a way of expanding our sex lives and avoiding that most natural of human instincts, procreation. We now see sex as more than a vehicle which carries just a necessary step to creating human life. Be it stress relief, strengthening a relationship, or even just fun, sex allows us to explore a side of ourselves that is instinctively human. And it is perhaps for these reasons that our first sexual encounter has such pressure surrounding it.
University is a strange hub of young intelligent people who are expected to divulge in as much sexual activity as they want. Most people assume that if you are a student you are probably having lots of sex, and that the sex you are having is promiscuous. Then again university is a great place to explore your sexual preferences and have a time of self-discovery without the overseeing eyes of your family, or the societal pressure to settle down and start a family. For this reason remaining a virgin at university can seem daunting and rather unfashionable at first, I think it doesn’t take long to realise that there isn’t half as much casual sex going on, and most of the time it lacks the glamour and allure we imagine prior to Fresher’s Week. So finding out there is a virgin in the mix actually is much smaller deal than first anticipated. And in return the perhaps rash decision to make sure we are shed of our virginity before university, or even official adulthood, can seem silly.
For anyone who has lost their virginity it often can seem (pardon the pun) anti-climactic. The actual act its self, the first time is strange and uncomfortable but it does change you. It unlocks a part of our human nature which until that point has been built on speculation and desire. A fantasy becomes a reality and rarely lives up to the hype.
Now, as for sex after losing your virginity, that is a whole different ball game, which improves with technique and being sexually comfortable within yourself. But why is this change branded as a loss? Ideas of a loss of innocence and purity seem a little outdated for the modern person . If anything it is a subtle change both physically and mentally occurs but not a loss. You are still you, just with a new experience. Nothing has been lost – just a new sensation lived and explored.