Chocolate or Sex?

NO! Please don’t ask me that question! Please don’t make me choose! I’m just a simple woman that wants both in unhealthy quantities at all times. But why is it such a hard decision? One is a delicious calorific experience – the other is hot sweaty fun with a partner. They are seemingly very different activities – or are they… here comes the sexy science bit. Eat your heart out Bill Nye!

Well chocolate has been proven to be an aphrodisiac. In ancient cultures it was even viewed as an equivalent to modern day Viagra. Although I’m sure it would have been a much easier pill to swallow. Furthermore, studies have shown that having a little bit of chocolate every day is supposed to increase a women’s libido. As a side note: how and where can I get involved in a study that requires me to eat chocolate and have sex? All of this is linked to a chemical known as phenylethylamine (bit of a mouthful) which is found in chocolate, this releases into our body that same good feeling that we get when we’re having sex. Which I guess is what makes it so hard for us to pick one over the other.

So let’s try and settle the argument.


  • Chocolate is a pretty reliable source of pleasure.
  • You rarely experience off days or dry spells with chocolate.
  • It doesn’t put it’s needs before yours.
  • It won’t tell you you’re the only chocolate eater in it’s life and then move on to some other hungry person a week later.
  • Chocolate doesn’t come with risks of STI’s or pregnancy either which is a huge bonus.


  • Well sex, as opposed to chocolate helps you burn calories rather than put them on.
  • Sex is best enjoyed as a shared experience, whereas chocolate munching is usually a solitary activity followed by a feeling of shame after realising my only friends are empty wrappers.
  • Plus chocolate can taste orgasmic, but as far as I’m aware can’t actually make you orgasm.

All this arguing is certainly making me look forward to Valentine’s Day, a literal day dedicated to the overconsumption of these two things, and love as well I guess.

But do I have to decide! It’s hard to imagine life without either really. So I’m going to cheat my own game. I’m going to have my cake and eat it too. Because thank god, life has blessed us with both these beauties and I love them both for different reasons. The important thing to remember is to enjoy both responsibly and in healthy quantities… which is hard when they are both so temptingly good. But let me know what you would pick, if you had to (thank heavens you don’t!) and if you are interested in other sexy foods check out an earlier article of mine, An Aphrodisiac Picnic, if for some crazy reason chocolate isn’t doing it for you.

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