I have a (seriously neglected) Tinder account and a week left in New York. What a perfect time for a tinder experiment! I decided to do some ‘research’ and find out how guys approach a girl on Tinder, or more specifically, the pickup lines they use, and what works. All my bio says is, ‘Send me your best pick up line.’ The rest is up to them. Here are a collection of the openers that stood out to me, and not all for the right reasons. The experiment took a lot of swiping and involved a lot of cute guys. All in the name of science, right?
Let’s start with the good. I liked these because they were either friendly, mindful, or cheesy in a cute way. Compliments usually work, as long as they’re polite. Thoughtful questions are sweet, and a great way of starting a conversation. These prove that it’s really not that hard to approach someone. Just be considerate, preferably funny, and thoughtful. It’s as easy as that!
‘When did you get out? I’m assuming you did 5-10, for stealing my heart.’
‘If you had to choose one way to spend a Sunday afternoon, which would you choose? Binge watching your favourite Netflix series? Going out for coffee and listening to music? Or reading some great books inside a pillow fort?’
‘Hey! You have great style.’
‘I’m gonna have to check your pockets because I think you stole my heart.’
‘There’s something wrong with my phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.
‘What are you going to replace me with on your Christmas list now that we’ve matched?’
Just saying ‘hello,’ isn’t enough. It puts too much pressure on starting a conversation, and then keeping it going. Who has time for that? Diving straight in asking for phone numbers and snapchats usernames and sex is also a bit much. One guy immediately messaged me on instagram after we matched. It was a bit extra. Please don’t do that. Also included in here are pickup lines that don’t really make sense to me. Why are we talking about maths?
‘Do you have snapchat? xx’
‘I’m writing a math book, but I’m missing one thing. Your phone number.’
‘Hey, do you want to have sex?’
I have no words to describe these. Except ‘please’ and ‘stop.’ (Also, if we’re related, exit this article now.)
‘I would be honored to take you out for coffee and dick you down after caffeine free.’
‘The word of the day is legs. How about we go back to my place and spread the word?’
‘Hey there Seren, I was hoping I could SERENade you and then possibly have you sit on my face.’
It’s certainly an interesting collection, ranging from cute to decent to just plain obscene. I wonder if the British guys are any better at this tinder thing. Only one way to find out!