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So, About Your Sexuality…?

Since being forced to leave my warm cosy closet of homosexuality after being bullied in school, I haven’t really had much negativity since then. The world has evidently changed since what we’ve seen in film and book adaptations of the past. Now, people barely flinch when I mention “my girlfriend”, or that I can’t ask my “boyfriend if he has a drill” but I’ll ask my girlfriend. But regardless of this beautiful thing we call 21st century acceptance, comes a string of confused and bewildered questions from people not that in tune with the gay parade. I will exemplify this to you by all the questions I can remember receiving from work mates, friends, parents, strangers etc. and my answers. Enjoy…

 

“You still think boys are fit though yeah?”

Well no not really. I mean, I can see a boy and think, “hey man, nice job you’re looking decent” but I would never describe a male as fit or look at them for longer than 3 seconds because simply in my eyes they can’t be “fit”.

 

“How can I pick up girls” (21-year-old male friend)

I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to ask that without feeling a bruise on your pride and humiliation. To put it simply, I can offer girls a world far different from what you’re offering, in every aspect. CONFIDENCE is key to every hook up my friend, male or female.

 

“I don’t really…get lesbian sex, like what’s the point it’s not really sex?”

I’ll just hold back my aggravation as I answer this for you. We aren’t governed by religion in the 21st century, so I personally don’t believe there is any one definition of sex. Sex has primarily been the act of procreation. But sex, more commonly in the modern world, is for pleasure. Fewer and fewer people have sex these days to procreate. So if sex is for pleasure too, and I get pleasure from having sex with a girl, as does she I hope, it is still sex with or without a baby. In fact, the inability to procreate is a blessing and a curse really. We save money on contraception, but waste it on IVF.

 

“But there’s no penetration? How is it sex?”

There’s no penetration? The very minimal you’re going to want to do here is google “lesbian sex” and we’ll bring out the technicalities.

 

“I can’t imagine how you could want to do that. I couldn’t ever.”

Okay.

 

“Don’t you think the world needs more lesbians because of like, overpopulation and that?”

I personally believe the world JUST needs lesbians but I’m being selfish and greedy. No, the variety makes us beautiful.

 

“Do you have a gay friend?”

Like… a gay man friend? I don’t as it happens. My gay-dar is faulty.

Saving my absolute favourite for last…

 

“Would you ever have sex with me? Like am I hot?”

Would you ask a random guy that? Should he ask you? Please do it.

 

I’m not actually as bitter as I make out. It’s great to explore each other. The confusion of a new concept that leaves people to ask questions like this does have its perks however.

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