Fireworks4_amk

Sexy New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year CUB readers! I’m sure that you, just like me, are glad to see the back end of 2016- sure it wasn’t all bad- but it was overall, like globally, politically, morally the shittiest year in my lifetime, so let us keep our fingers firmly crossed that 2017 will be better. We do have to deal with all of the repercussions of the god awful decisions we made in 2016 – but let’s not think about that. But since it is new year there is a pressure to make our own productive resolutions which will hopefully make this next year better than the previous, you’ve heard them all before- lose weight, go to the gym, save money, read more etc. But I’m not about that ‘new year new me’ bullshit, so here with my sexy new year’s resolutions let’s make a change for the sexier, which in my opinion is helpful and actually realistic.

  1. Learn to love your body – I know at this time of year, after all of the feasting, you can look at your post-Christmas chub and think that the New Year is the time to shape up. But being a student it can be hard to balance healthy eating, exercise, studying, part-time jobs and general life. So this year try to embrace your bod in all its fluctuating states, whether you’ve got period bloat, stress-spot prone skin or festive flab, it’s never going to be perfect but it’s yours, so look after it and love it.
  1. Master masturbation – speaking of self-love, masturbation is one of the best ways to improve your personal well-being. Great for stress relief and good vibes, why not spend this year figuring out how to really treat yourself. Maybe grab a toy, perfect your porn preferences or just tackle your technique.
  1. Make a date a month – this one’s a fun one. Whether you’re single, seeing someone or madly in love promise yourself a proper date night or day every month. Whether you take your s/o, your best pals or just have a bit of me time- go for a meal, drinks, a movie, a museum trip, a city walk or whatever you like- just dedicate one day a month to having a proper little treat. Go on, you deserve it.
  1. Educate yourself – ever find yourself hearing LGBTQIA+ or such acronyms and thinking I don’t know what all of these new letters stand for. Well then learn. Google is your best friend and always in your pocket, so why not educate yourself. Sexuality and gender is a vast and varied thing, so why not learn a little more even if it isn’t key to your personal preferences? You never know what you might discover about yourself or the ones you love along the way.
  1. Love – yes just love. 2016 had some really sad and hateful moments and my hope for 2017 is a bit more love. When hurt, heart break and hate are inevitable, so try to make yourself a beacon of love in this world. Remember that love always trumps hate.

I hope these resolutions serve you well in 2017. I hope it makes your year a bit sexier, happier and full of love.  These are easy, fun and won’t make you feel like a failure if you don’t manage them. So fuck New Year new me. New Year, same me, just a little bit sexier.

Leave a Comment