The Long D

What is it like to be in a long-distance relationship?

I used to be sceptical that a long-distance relationship could ever work. I mean, how could you still be committed when you’re so far apart, especially when everyone comes to university assuming sex is a big part of ‘the experience?’

Somehow, I’ve managed to find myself in this exact situation…

I think the main aspect of any relationship is trust. Of course, that’s a no brainer, but being in a “Long-D” (as Winston says in New Girl) puts the whole ‘trust’ aspect on a new level. I trust him to trust me, and in return he trusts me to trust him. If you managed to follow that, then hopefully you get the idea. Basically, you need to have each other’s backs; otherwise one or even both of you could end up feeling very paranoid over the small things.

The obvious downside is the distance, since you can’t physically be with them as much as you’d like. It’s frustrating, to say the least. It can even leave you feeling like shit at times. The only way to get through this is to have a plan of when you’ll see them next; this way you have a date to look forward to. Some breaks will be longer than others but when you finally get to be with them, it just seems worth the wait. (Sorry…that sounds really cliché).

Personally, the hardest part about all this is when he leaves. We realise it’ll probably be another month until we see each other again, so we try to make the most of the time we have – even if that just involves cuddling in bed all day. We’ve almost got into a routine, where I go to drop him off at the train station/ he drops me off, and then I just start crying because I now realise I’m alone again. And yes, I know I’m not really alone, but being in a LD relationship does make you feel like you’re single at times, but without the perks.

It’s sort of like having a ‘phantom limb’ in the form of a boyfriend; you feel single dancing with friends on a night out, but he’s still in the back of your mind. It’s a weird concept to get used to, but you can get over it by texting or calling them to see how their day has been and what they’ve been up to. If we’re not calling each other that day, it’s normally just a lazy Netflix session on my own or with my flatmate. We’ve tried to make it a habit to call or Skype every other night, but it’s exam season and shit happens, so sometimes we end up calling once a week. Of course, Skype is now your new best friend because although you can’t be with them, you can kind of be with them.

Finally, I’m just going to end by saying it’s definitely not easy being in a long distance relationship. Although, I think it sort of fast-forwards your relationship timeline, so you get to know if it’s working or not pretty early on. I’ve gone through a whirlwind of emotions that I didn’t think was possible to feel, but if everything fits together when you finally see each other, then I think that means it’s worth something.


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