In a time of Kardashians, be a Patsy:

With the rise in popularity of Kim Kardashian, it is clear that there is a very specific style and appearance in vogue right now: A fake face and body disguised as “oh so natural”. [For my piece about the fashion industry’s perception of beauty, in relation to body size, see the article ‘Has the Fashion industry changed? Or is it still the era of the size zero?’

To take a selfie that would be deemed worthy now, a woman in 2017 is meant to have their contour layered on with a shovel, a special lensed camera, a Luminous phone case and of course heavy filtering. I’m not shaming professional MUAs – I spend hours watching their videos, who suggest that you should wear however much make up you want, obviously. My main issue is with the artificiality in Kim’s look; particularly as she continuously denies it. It has been speculated that certain paparazzi are on the family’s payroll in order to stop unnatural photos coming to light. This, coupled with her incessant editing of her selfies, has meant her fans aspire to be something that isn’t real and change their natural looks in order to please a white screen.

These celebrities, supposedly, live by regimental fitness regimes (how else would the famous Kardashian bum and curves happen?) Hence, there is now a craze for grabbing products such as FitTea, waist trainers, salads which are “omg so lit”, and for learning diet techniques fast. However, once again, Kartrashian deception is exposed. All I need to say is the recent Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna drama regarding how she lost her baby weight. And Kim with her nappy booty.

Finally, their fashion. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I do look on jealously at their millions of jewels and ensembles. They always have the newest and most figure-hugging clothes. And yet, some of the stuff: Kylie’s jumper that was more of a necklace, Kim’s Mrs Doubtfire tribute and everything about Yeezus, gives me what the f*ck moments.

Sometimes, with what they wear, it’s like they are from another century, blending futuristic minimalism with medieval corsets and strings – or even from another planet. The thing is, not only is their fashion kind of ridiculous but the styles they claim to turn into trends aren’t their personal brands. Nearly all of the sisters have been accused of stealing small designer’s ideas in their clothing lines, for example, Khloe and her Good America bodysuits (here is an article by the Huffpost for further details: So, to all of you who are under the impression that you’re buying their clothes, you are not, you are buying the idea they stole. Once again, un-original, shallow and fake.

Whereas Patsy from AbFab, (Absolutely Fabulous to mere muggles,) openly drinks, smokes (anything), swears and dresses how she likes. Essentially, she unapologetically doesn’t give a f*ck.

Sounds very preach-like, but, don’t spend your time aspiring to be like people who do not seem even happy with themselves. Not happy enough to be honest about their body image or even how they retain it. Yes, it’s good to be fit and healthy. I know I should do much more than I currently do – I do love avocado on toast though (most middle class thing I’ve ever said) but at 19, why would you be taking artificial supplements? Or be looking to a plastic surgery addicted reality star for inspiration on how to better yourself?

Just for clarity, I’m not saying that you should go out and become a rude and selfish alcoholic like Patsy (or myself really.)

And yet, I guess, as nihilistic as it sounds, what’s the point in me writing this?

It won’t change the fact that corporations and fashion houses construct campaigns with the direct intention to make us aspire to change how we look, in order that we buy their ‘magic’ products or stop eating properly to fit into their clothes. It won’t change celebrities from manipulating their pictures and lying about surgery.

Patsy and her partner in crime, Edie, in a skit actually described the Kardashian’s as a “disease” that spreads like “head lice”. And in a weird way it’s a poetic image. They are like a disease. They do not promote empowerment or loving who you are. Women don’t seem to feel better when they look at them, they feel sh*t about how they don’t look the same as them, and probably never will as the Kardashians don’t even look like that in reality. They promote the idea that if you live off chemical shakes you’ll get thinner, and ultimately are concerned about what other people think of them.

But to be honest, if because of reading this, for some reason, one more person goes ‘f*ck it’ and accepts that on some days you may feel, and look, and maybe even smell, like the bottom of a Yorkshire pudding… it doesn’t matter. Although the ‘summer bod’ didn’t exactly happen, your holiday was probably amazing. And maybe you had a bit too much to drink the other day, but no one likes a quitter.

These little things that may seem so major right now really don’t matter, in the real world no one cares if you’ve got one million followers on Instagram, unsurprisingly it’s not the kind of thing that goes on the CV, and you’ve got that hot ‘summer bod’ even if it’s fake and not really who you are.

I’m not saying you’re going to wake up loving who you are, that takes time, just make sure you become the person you want to be – and not what is projected to you by superficial and fake celebrities.

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