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QM’s Minds #1

So, this week I have handed the helm of this column over to an outsider, well, my housemate, her name is Casey Dugan, she is a second year Psychology student. She has written an ‘open letter’ to those affected by her depression and anxiety. Like all sufferers, she is constantly surrounded by the stigmas. Her ‘open letter’ has the purpose of allowing her to let her family and friends know how she feels and to make the outside world understand the effects of mental health problems.

This has got me thinking, I want other QM students to be able to use this space to share their experiences/views/rants about mental health. So, from now on, once a month, I will post a submission from a fellow student. These articles will become a part of the series ‘QM’s Minds’.

Send me anything you like! Just stick it in a Word document and email it to, georgina.gambetta@hotmail.co.uk.

Without further ado, over to Casey’s open letter…


An open letter to everyone anxiety and depression effects,

I am sorry.

Every time I say I’m sorry, you say “its okay, its not your fault.” But I’m sorry. Because my anxiety tells me everything is my fault.

I’m sorry to my parents. I have had to watch you cry because you had to rush me to hospital when my anxiety got so bad the doctors thought I was having a seizure. I am sorry that you have to suffer the effects of my mental health. This should be my problem, but I can’t face it alone. I’m sorry about the countless nights I’ve kept you up crying and screaming, the countless doctor’s appointments I’ve needed you to come to because I can’t go alone. It’s my fault you suffer because I am asking you to make it all better when I know you can’t, no matter how hard you try, but I still ask.

I’m sorry to my boyfriend who I’ve heard cry over the phone countless nights because he felt like he couldn’t help me. I’m sorry I couldn’t have warned you that this relationship was between more than just me and you.

I’m sorry to my work places because I let you down last minute when I had to make an emergency appointment at the doctors, because my mental health was deteriorating quicker than it had ever before. It is my fault because I didn’t tell them that I was depressed and anxious when I had my interview, because I was scared it would prevent me from getting the job.

I’m sorry to the doctors I have sat in front of crying over and over again, pleading them to find out what is wrong with me. I am sorry I am wasting your time with my issues, it is my fault that people who are seriously ill cannot get the help they need because I am crying, again.

But I need to say sorry to someone even more important. The person who constantly gets the blame for my mental health.

Myself.

You do not need to be sorry. It is not your fault, you are not to be blamed. This isn’t you, this is an illness you are trying to control.

You will feel like the worst person alive because you feel as though your friends and family are suffering because of what you are going through. But as a wise woman once said, “don’t be sorry, you are not hurting me, I am not suffering. You are the most important thing, and I will do anything to make sure you are okay.”

They are not suffering, they are supporting.

Don’t be sorry that you need help. Be bold and admit it, it’s the strongest thing a person can do.

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