A Relationship With Tinder

Here’s a short interview about our generation’s dating life, from the perspective of a regular bloke on Tinder.

Alright, let’s get deep.

Do you think Tinder is a better platform to meet people than in real life?

“Sometimes I feel like it would be better if Tinder didn’t exist, because then it wouldn’t even be an option to consider. We would be forced to interact with each other in a normal way rather than swiping left or right on an app. Tinder has become a platform for people who are bored, horny or desperate – although initially we started to use Tinder to meet people, it slowly becomes a mindless obsession for when you’re bored. It’s so easy and convenient, that we’ve almost closed ourselves off when it comes to meeting people in real life through normal approaches. We would rather swipe behind the face of an app than accept the rejection and move on.”

What do you hope to gain by using Tinder?

“Like everyone else, I’m hoping to meet my dream life partner. As cynical as I sound, I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. It’s so overwhelming to exchange a few messages after one meeting, and then build a relationship from this. In today’s busy world, my tinder date would ask me to grab a drink, which he probably thinks will turn into a hookup, whereas I’m looking for something more substantial. When we meet people in real life, we gain a broad perspective of the person we’re talking to – we’re more interested in their personality rather than their appearance. But with Tinder, we’ve been conditioned to only swipe in the search for a hot date without knowing any facts about their life.”

Do you act differently when talking to people on Tinder than if you were to meet them in real life?

“Yeah! Definitely! It’s for the single reason that I know I can easily block the person if they reject me. In my everyday life, I would never completely ignore someone if they said ‘hi, how are you?’ But if you check my Tinder, I’ll have ignored countless messages and I’ve also experienced the small disappointments when other people have ignored mine. If you think about it from a universal perspective, everyone is experiencing mutual disappointment when messages are being ignored, or when you aren’t matching with many people – it’s a vicious cycle that eats away at you until the small disappointments leave you feeling indifferent and ultimately more upset.”

If you’re so cynical about Tinder, why do you still use it?

“Being gay makes finding potential dates a lot harder. Tinder is a way, perhaps even the only way, that I know I will be able to have a date. I could never walk up to someone on the street and ask them out, as it’s a lot harder to identify someone’s sexuality based on their appearance. Despite my pessimistic attitude towards Tinder, I still think it’s a great opportunity to ‘kind-of’ meet people as it would be very unlikely to run into them in my current surroundings. This makes it a lot more interesting and diversifies the amount of people I can meet and talk to.”

What would be your advice to someone who is considering to download Tinder?

“Definitely go for it! My main advice would be to remember the key reason you’ve downloaded the app. It can be easy to get lost in mindless swiping, which soon becomes a time-wasting daily habit.

And of course, remember your condoms!”

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