Just because my mind is open, doesn’t mean my legs are!

As of recent events, it has come to my attention that if someone speaks openly about sex, this is apparently a huge, red sign stating that this individual wants to engage in sexual acts with anyone and everyone. That is most certainly not the case and has utterly outraged me. As a young woman who openly talks about sex and her own experiences, I have been hit with backlash of people interpreting that I want sexual actions merely because I speak my mind on the topic of sex. And its not just me, many women face this issue every single day…

As a feminist and an individual who believes in the freedom of speech, this sparked a series of questions. Why are women, who openly speak about sex, painted as a sexual maniac who wants to jump on anyone she comes across? It is like the backlash feminists face, people paint them as butch, man-hunting women who want men to burn! It is outrageous to believe that powerful women who are comfortable within their sexuality are sex hungry. From this thought, I dived into the web to find out whether there are positive sex talk groups who are predominately female led and not to my surprise, there is a very few. However, I did find the ‘Scarlet Ladies’. The Scarlet Ladies, as Casilda Grigg from the Telegraph states, is a haven for women to openly ‘bring their sex lives out from under the covers’ with no fear of judgement. The group promotes freedom of speech, respect, courage, esteem and most importantly, enjoyment. Scarlet Ladies were created by two powerful feminists who agreed that feminism has most certainly climbed mountains since the days of sexism, yet female sexual expression is still ignored or used as a negative within society. These two women have now encouraged thousands of women to speak freely about their sex lives, create blogs, posts, educate young girls and express themselves through the arts.

The Scarlet Ladies web page and values really hit home to me, it is a safe place for women like me to express themselves and their sexuality in the presence of powerful women. Women should not face backlash merely because they openly speak about sex and their sex life and I personally would never stop expressing my views. Unfortunately, in todays age we are still facing sexism and especially in terms of female sexual expression. One key celebrity who faces attacks due to her openness to express her sex life through her comedy is Amy Schumer. Amy has appeared in many online articles and interviews defending her use of sex within comedy and positively uses feminism to her advantage, stating that men have joked about sex for centuries and now its women’s turn to do the same.

Yes, there is still stigma towards women who express their sexuality openly. Celebrities, journalists, feminists and even women like myself face these backlashes every day, all because we aren’t afraid to talk about our bedroom secrets or what’s between our legs. However, there are places and groups like the Scarlet Ladies and the CUB Magazine who support female sexual expression and give it a platform to breathe and grow. So next time a man tries to suggest that I must be a raging sexual manic who wants to fornicate with him, I’ll quote Amy Schumer, ‘I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say.’

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