Compared to some people I know, I waited a long time to lose my virginity. However, at times it was hard. I felt a lot of pressure to have sex for the first time and there were moments where I nearly threw it away just to say ‘I did it’. But I’m pleased I remained strong and lost it when I was in my first committed relationship. I regret nothing. There is no right or wrong age to lose your virginity and it’s important to save yourself for the right person so that the sex is more meaningful, or for when you feel you are ready, regardless of whether or not you’re in a relationship. What matters is that you consent and you feel comfortable. I recently read an article that people are choosing to remain a virgin for longer nowadays, so in light of this, and the pressure put on uni to be a time for ‘sexual exploration’, the purpose of this article is to explain why it’s okay to still be a virgin in your 20s.
- You are waiting until YOU are ready.
Nobody else has the right to decide when you have sex for the first time. Sex is a choice and the choice is yours only. Stick to your gut instincts and even if a scenario comes up where you think you might be ready, think about it carefully beforehand. There is no pressure to go through with it if you don’t feel comfortable. It is perfectly acceptable to say no at the last minute. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
- It shows you are your own person.
Nowadays, too many people are morphing into ‘sheep’ or followers. They feel pressure to conform to what everybody else is doing in a desperate attempt to fit in. It’s okay to be a virgin in your twenties still as it shows that you aren’t weak willed enough to open your legs to the first person that shows you some attention, or to actively go out searching for it. It also shows you have the strength not to act impulsively so as to silence all of your friends as they talk about their recent hook up or their body count. You are your own person and this deserves praise.
- Sex isn’t everything in life.
Nowadays, there is a lot of pressure on young people to follow a particular path in life, it’s okay to be a virgin in your twenties as younger generations have other priorities nowadays compared to previous generations. For example, in the past people married and started families a lot sooner compared to today’s generation where there is more of an emphasis on education and pursuing a career, this is especially true for women. Sex doesn’t define you as a person so don’t worry if you haven’t experienced it yet.
- Being a virgin can be liberating (and safe).
There are obvious benefits to still being a virgin in your twenties and at any age, mainly there is no risk of unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, making sure you are taking some form of contraceptive, or of emotionally confusing or abusive sexual relations. You don’t have to contend or put up with any of these things.
- It can be educational.
It’s okay to be a virgin in your twenties still as you can talk and explore and learn about sex without actually doing it. This means that you will be more prepared to have sex when you are ready, compared to those individuals who lost their virginity blind. For example, you might add to your sexual education at school by listening and getting advice from doctors, your friends or certain family members that you feel comfortable talking to and who you can trust. Because even if you haven’t had sex yet, you are bound to be curious and there’s nothing wrong with that either. Since having sex for the first time I must admit that I am still learning and exploring what I like to this day which is all very exciting!
- Sex can be overrated.
The last reason why it’s okay to be a virgin in your twenties is that despite the pressure to have sex and all of the hype surrounding it, sex really isn’t all its cracked up to be the first time. You can definitely wait for it. If you rush to have sex with just anyone then there is every chance you will be disappointed and a little underwhelmed. Sex is definitely worth waiting for with the right person and someone you genuinely care for. The best sex I’ve experienced is when it has been meaningful and also the more experienced I have become.
So there you have it, a list of reasons why it’s okay to still be a virgin in your 20s. Can you think of any other reasons? If the answer is yes, then comment in the section below.