When starting off a new relationship there is a lot of ups and downs, you must build a stable foundation that you can both build on together. New relationships are full of potential and possibilities but especially discovery! You will learn a lot about yourself, as an individual, and your partner. You will want to know their needs, desires, wants and future whilst not jumping the gun too quickly and scaring them off.
We’ve all got to admit that long-term relationships are hard work, it takes time and commitment to make a relationship stable and unbreakable. So here some things to keep in mind when starting a new relationship:
The past always causes issues in a relationship (good memories or bad ones) and there are different ways to bring these past issues and memories up to your partner. One way is to dump it all onto them like dirty washing and watch them take it all in. However, this can cause problems on maybe the first or second date especially if the things you are bringing up are about old partners. Leading relationship experts say that you should keep your thoughts and conversations focused on your current partner, however I think that this depends on the person. For me, I would rather have the other persons dirty washing so that I can take everything in as early on as possible. Then I know exactly what I’m getting myself into and nothing can scare me off once things get serious!
Another tip, relating to the past, is do not make comparisons. Now, we are all at fault for this, bringing up old partners and saying things like, ‘they didn’t like this’ or ‘so and so did this.’ It is healthy to bring up partners in conversations, however do not compare your partner in great depth with your old partner. Before you talk about old partners think: am I trying to compete with my old partner? If that’s the reason you keep bringing up old partners and making comparisons, then a relationship ISN’T what you need right now!
The most common phase used in relationships (especially during fights) is: actions speak louder than words. Read your partners actions rather than believing everything that they say. I am guilty of saying I’m fine, when in fact I’m not and my boyfriend reads my body language like a hawk…I can no longer hide. Consider their actions, for example if they want to show you off online and want you to meet their family and friends, then they see you in their life for a long time, if they hide you away from the world than maybe its not as serious as you thought.
My favourite tip is to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be examined by your partner, show them your softer side that you don’t show anyone else. This will build trust and a more stable foundation. It can be scary, especially if you’ve been hurt before in a relationship but the right person will accept this vulnerability and never use it against you! As well as being vulnerable, you should listen and stay curious about your partner as if it’s still your first date! Loosing this desire to learn about them can make you appear bored of them. Giving them your undivided attention (whilst it can be hard) is essential in the early stages of an relationship.
Relationships are fun and exciting, learning about someone and falling for them is an special kind of feeling but there are some things we forget to do or things we should not do. Hopefully, this article has shown some light on the do’s and don’ts of new relationships. Go enjoy falling in love and be prepared because the ride can get bumpy!