Whilst watching Iliza Shlesinger’s, a female comedian, live performances on Netflix one night, a very interesting, and I find accurate description of male and female thought was brought up in one of her sketches. Iliza’s comedy is dedicated to laughing at herself as a woman and comparing to women’s actions, thoughts, desires and feelings to men’s, and the points she raises are not only hilarious but stupidly accurate! The sketch that caught my attention was the difference in male and female communication and thought processes, so I am going to share her theory and explore how accurate it truly is and how it can affect relationships!
The basis of Iliza’s theory is men are physical and women are verbal, which is true! Men have an innate desire to use their physical strength in order to solve problems and to show their feelings, as Iliza says, if a man likes you, he will show it in his actions, he will go to the ends of the world for you… but he will not be able to communicate those feelings. Women, on the other hand are incredible at verbal communication and WANT to talk about their thoughts and feelings. Women speak on average 20,000 words per day whilst men only speak 7,000 showing how worlds apart women and men are on the spectrum in terms of talking… which explains why men think women yap a lot but, we are communicating through two different modes. This explains why there can be barriers, men and women do not communicate on the same level, women want to talk their feelings whilst men want to show their feelings. So, when you are trying to talk to your boyfriend, and your speaking at the speed of a race car and flooding him with a great deal of detail and he does not seem to absorb that information, do not flip your lid! It’s as if you are communicating to him in a completely different language, much like us women shame men for not talking to us or opening up, but we also do not look out for the small physical signs of love such as: holding the door open for us, or texting us goodnight. That is a man’s way of showing his affection. Therefore, we must think before we communicate to our partners as the old phrase goes, ‘women are from Venus and men are from Mars’, we are different and need to understand that difference in brain functioning when in a relationship.
Here are some facts about the male and female brain which I found interesting:
- Women remember details, we keep receipts *clap* whilst men focus on the main points. This explains why when arguing, women can remember details from months prior, small details that men over look whilst men can pinpoint the main facts, again explaining why communication can be difficult as information is missing from the men’s side yet is incredibly accurate from the women’s side. Outside of relationships, driving can show the difference in memory. Men remember distances whilst women remember stop signs and shop windows, the small details that do not really matter yet add to the experience of driving.
- Men are better (typically) at exact sciences whilst women at social sciences. Men require sciences which will be accurate answers and have a stable format, that can be proven and seen visibly whilst women enjoy sciences which involved language, discovering, your own opinion. This explains why women chooses degrees such as Literature, History and Art at university, whilst men choose Science and Economics. But that is not always true, of course women do choose science and men do choose art, but our brains are wired to choose a certain path typically.
I am not saying that these are all true, yes people do not always conform to the norm; however typically, these are the cases. I am also not saying that men and women cannot live happily, because of their brains, because duh they can! There are positives to thinking in different ways and having two different views in a relationship. Men are great at physical comfort, looking after their partner and protecting them which for women is what we need! Women need physical affection to boost mental health, for example after 20 seconds of hugging, a woman will receive a boost of happiness and self-confidence! Women are social creatures and will bring out that side of their partner, they will encourage them to do things and to go places, they will plan trips and days out.
Men and women need each other to balance out these chemicals, not just in a relationship, but friendships and family! Men need female emotion and women need male logic, we provide forms of comfort and thought that the other sex cannot. So if women are from Venus and men are from Mars, at least we can make a home on Earth together.