First kisses, levels of sexual intimacy, and so on are all moments that we reminisce throughout a relationship but what about the half way mark- the six-month milestone? Recently, myself and my partner had our six-month milestone and for us, it was a time to celebrate especially as he had never been with someone for this length of time. However, this got me thinking… what IS the significance of this half a year mark? So here’s some research on that:
For most couples, it is a reminder of all the moments spent together, a time to reflect and move forward! It is the half way mark to a year which is a pretty big deal in todays generation of dating, which we all know can be terrible. The significance of this milestone is to demonstrate the shift in the relationship, from something new and perhaps unstable, something that could easily fall apart to something with strong roots. Dating coach Connell Barrett states that in the first six months or so, individuals are fuelled by oxytocin AKA the love drug, sexual attraction is high due to this new romance. You project your positive traits onto your partner, seeing them less as what they truly are and what you want them to be, once this love drug has worn off however, you see each other for who you really are! Scary right!? The milestone is almost like a graduation into the real part of the relationship, you are no longer love-drunk but rather now aware of the real person you are dating.
This then begs the question of whether the honeymoon period ends at this graduation. The honeymoon period being when the relationship is easy, exciting, pleasant, its said that these will subside into a new stage of the relationship. Connell Barret states that building up to this milestone you become more comfortable showing your true colours to your partner, which I can say is completely true! Being goofy and less anxious about how I come across to my boyfriend or how I look in front of him has most certainly subsided as we have grown closer together and likewise for him! Apparently, after this milestone is when the real adulting comes into place, the next six-months being when you determine the big life desires you want… such as a family, marriage etc. You determine whether this body of flesh will be able to provide you with exactly what you need one day (NOTE: it does not mean you want children this instant but that you both DO want them in the FUTURE.)
So does this mean relationships can drastically change after this milestone? YES. And NO. For some people the milestone is merely a check point and holds little significance, whilst for others it is a time to reflect on the relationship and to see if it will move forward or not. You must consider that these issues that arise were always here but hiding under those love-drugged eyes, now that we can see clearly, those issues bubble to the surface and it is hard to ignore them. If you have been in a long term relationship before, it is clear that just because you have lasted longer than six months doesn’t mean you will last forever, however, it suggests that you COULD if you really wanted to. It suggests that you both can make a life together if you choose to, at this very moment, of course people change and situations change but at that very moment, it could work!
If by the six month milestone you feel deeply connected, are still meeting each others emotional needs, being supportive of one another and finally, being authentic to yourselves than you have a chance to make it to the final stage!… And if you do not feel those things, it is easy quit after your six month subscription and acknowledge that you both tried to make it work but once those love-drugs wear off, reality hits and maybe he isn’t your prince charming and maybe she isn’t your girl next door.