Running the London Marathon- an intimate look inside the mind of a runner

26.2 Miles…26.2 Miles…was my only thought every morning and night since October 2018. No exaggeration, I would wake up with a feeling of dread and wonder why I was feeling like this. Then it would hit me like a tonne of rocks that I was running the London Marathon in only a few months. I didn’t feel prepared, no matter how much I ran or how far I ran I never felt like I would ever be fully ready for what was to come.

“You’ll be fine!” They said…

“It’s the taking part that counts!” They said…

“As long as you cross that finish line!” They said…

“It doesn’t matter how long it takes!” They said…

“Hang on” they said, “are you training enough”

“You’re not the right build” they began to say…

I’m 4ft 11 (literally just shy of 5ft), I weigh about 10 stone so many believed I wasn’t the right ‘shape’ to be running such a distance. That’s when I think the panic really set in. The whole time I had my family and friends supporting me but it was the one odd comment from those I didn’t know whilst I was fundraising that caused me to start doubting myself.

13 miles…13 miles…2 months to go and I have done half a marathon! Great! But then the little voices in my head started up again. That’s only half. If you’re this sore after half how the hell can you do this twice!

16 miles…1 and a half months to go and I still don’t feel ready despite running 16 miles in one go.

The day comes, the 28th of September 2019. I haven’t slept, my stomach is in knots, I have this sick feeling right in the pit of my stomach. I just kept thinking to myself, what if I actually can’t do this. “I can’t do this,” I chanted on the train. “I can’t do this,” I chanted handing in my bag. “I can’t do this,” I chanted in the Pen waiting to walk to the starting line.

I did it!

It was the hardest thing both mentally and physically that I hade ever done in my life, but I kept all the voices out of my head and focused on myself and the reasons for running. I chose the charity Mind as the inspiration behind my walk and I’m so glad I did! Without realising, I was suffering mentally in the build up to the marathon. I was beating myself up and letting the little voices in my head tear me down. But I did it and I smashed it!

With a stress fracture at 15 miles, and a thigh rash that I’m sure any girl can relate to, I managed to cross that finish line and raise £2,000 for an amazing mental health charity! I then was able to realise how lucky I was to get my place as so many apply every year and don’t make it.

Once you put your Mind to something you can do anything.

One Comment

  1. Tiago says:

    She ran this with a damaged foot and i mean she ran this marathon stopping only to walk for a while when she hurt herself at 15 miles, amazing she ran past me at 24 miles in so much pain but she did it!

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