Have A Magical Christmas with Punk Witches Dream Nails Crisp New Holiday Banger

This Musa-mixed masterpiece WILL revitalise your seasonal setlist.

Traditional Christmas songs are not my jam. I’m sorry, but you can only hear ‘Feliz Navidad’ so many times while barista-ing at a well-known coffee chain before something within you just snaps and you start to wish bodily harm on anyone who plays it in their own time. Or the entire nation of Spain. Fortunately, feminist punk witches Dream Nails have continued their barrage of bangers by following up their incredible self-titled debut, with a festive fracas sure to lighten up the holiday season.

If you’re worried it won’t be festive enough after my perhaps slightly excessive complaints regarding the majority of the genre, don’t worry. There’s sleigh bells, crashing cymbals, and jingly bells aplenty. They just happen to be blended with a rousing round of riffage, to get you out from under the mistletoe to starting mosh pits in the snow. With backing harmonies akin to an angelic chorus, this is the sort of soundtrack I would hope exists in heaven/whatever good afterlife place you may believe in.

Lyrically, few Christmas songs compare. Maybe I’m saying this because I’m bored of songs along the lines of: Jesus/I wanna bone Santa/SNOW, but something not on those topics is refreshing to my winter-worn ears. Furthermore, relatability is at an all-time high. “Are you hiding this Christmas?” – hell yes I am, and no I really would rather not come out and talk about Brexit or Boris Johnson. The acknowledgement in verse 2 that Christmas isn’t a universal festival is also something I love to see in a seasonal tune, especially as a contrast to the disparity in treatment of religious events by the government over the last few months.

Most important is the recognition of the difficulty this time of year can bring to people. To many, it’s a time of high stress and expense for a festival of consumerism that seems to have slowly lost sight of what message it may have originally held.

“Sending strength and love

To folks who find that Christmas time can be kind of tough”


If you liked this review, and want more wintery wonders to treat your ears, never fear – I have more seasonal reviews coming soon. Ish. Hopefully.

Dream Nails’ debut is available to stream everywhere, but if you don’t want to be on the naughty list, why not buy a copy here.

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