If you don’t live with your partner or they don’t conveniently live next door, lockdown can feel even tougher than it already is. Now that we’re in our third (?) lockdown, we’ve all become more accustomed to what life is like under the Covid-19 restrictions. However, not being able to see your partner unless it’s for a freezing cold walk or on a blurry zoom call, doesn’t seem to get any easier.
In a new relationship, you’ve been robbed of your ‘honeymoon phase’ and you might not be completely sure you’re ready to commit to maintaining a relationship during a pandemic. In a long-term relationship, life can feel strange without the familiar comfort of your partner. If being kept apart by lockdown is starting to have a toll on either your personal well being or your relationship, here are a few things you can try to make it a bit easier.
It might seem obvious but communicating is one of the best solutions. Although, instead of constantly texting throughout the day, it’s useful to set aside a specific day and time where you call each other. Life’s a bit mundane and repetitive during the lockdown, constantly texting throughout the day can often mean you run out of things to say. By speaking to each other at an allocated time can help with having more to talk about and dedicate proper time to catching up with one another. Not only does it give you something to look forward to, but it allows you to put time aside and dedicate it specifically to your partner.
Another way to feel more connected is by sharing recommendations with each other. This could be a book you’ve read, a film you’ve watched, some music you’ve listened to or anything you’re interested in. It’s a great way to learn more about what your other half likes and gives you little projects to keep you busy, as you can spend time compiling a perfect playlist for them or finding books you’d both like to discuss. Finding ways to connect can be difficult but watching the same film or listening to an album your partner recommended can make missing each other and loneliness a bit easier.
If you were sexually active in your relationship, buying yourself a sex toy, or a few, is a great option. Masturbation is an excellent act of self-care and should definitely be enjoyed. It has so many positive effects, like making you feel relaxed and helps to lift your mood, a perfect solution for when you’re missing your partner. Mutual masturbation is also an option, either via zoom or by sexting, it’s a great way to show off your new toys and connect with your partner on a more intimate level. At times, virtual masturbation can be quite awkward, so make sure to communicate your boundaries and gradually build up to it.
There are such various sex toys, meaning it’s a great solo way to explore your sexuality and learn more about your likes and dislikes. Some suppliers of sex toys, such as Ann Summers and Lovehoney, offer student discounts, so even those with a small budget can find their perfect toy. It might also be worth investing in a sex toy you can use together, as something to look forward to once you can see each other again.
Although the lockdown days of yoga every day and hyper-productivity may be over, it’s always worth dedicating time to improving your well-being. Learning how to be independent and being comfortable alone is so important, it can be a time to learn more about yourself, delve deep into your interests and encourage more self-acceptance. Being apart from your partner is never easy, it’s even harder in such a strange period, but proper communication and prioritising your own well-being can make being apart in lockdown a bit more bearable.