Things to do during self-isolation if you’re a ‘Garbage Person’

Now is the perfect time to: finish that novel you started writing! Start a podcast! Write a one-person play! But what if you’re a ‘Garbage Person’? In other words, what about those of us who have no creative ability or the dedication to finish – or even start – a creative task. 

For those of us in this world who are not ‘creatives’, I have compiled a list of things to do which, while being completely useless in the long run, are the perfect distraction from the ending of the world. Enjoy!

 

Take some Buzzfeed quizzes.

Have you ever wanted to know whether you’re a Cupcake or a Muffin? Or perhaps what your McDonald’s order is based on how you would design a house? A true unspoken of pastime for many is the simple joy of taking BuzzFeed quizzes, and now you have all the time in the world to take as many as you want – you can even make your own quiz like I did!

 

Start doing yoga (then quickly give it up and stay in the child’s pose for the remainder of summer).

With all the stress in the world, why not attempt some yoga? It requires little to no equipment or space. However, much to my detriment, it does require full attention. The pose which requires the least effort is the child’s pose: if you don’t believe me, try it. 

[Photo: pexels]

Taste test all of the old crusty condiments in your fridge.

This was not my idea, this was suggested to me by a friend. I don’t know why, and I really can’t endorse it, but I couldn’t help but include in the list. Let’s be honest, right now beggars can’t be choosers, and you gotta do what you gotta do to keep busy and stay sane. 

 

Lose yourself in a fake world (which is miles better than the world around us right now). 

There are so many video game worlds to choose from and any of them, really, any of them, are better than our current world. Sims 4? Perfect. Club Penguin? Wonderful. Fortnite? It’ll do.  My world of choice is in the new ‘Animal Crossing’ – it’s my only chance to go outside more than once a day. 

 

Practice your award-winning speech. 

This one is a classic, quarantine or no quarantine. Let’s be honest, who hasn’t at least thought of what they’d say if they won any award. I’m not sure what award I’d win or honour I would receive but I would probably start my speech with ‘“I’d like to thank my family and friends for being there and…” blah blah blah ‘‘ but most importantly I must thank my most honest and loyal supporters: my cats, who keep me sane’’.’ 

 

Try to forget about the plant you left in your university flat. 

It will be hard. You have likely had those plants since you moved in. They added the perfect vibe to your dingey student room. You looked after them, watered them, you practically loved them like a child. They forgave you when you left them for three weeks over Christmas. They made your Uni flat feel like a Uni home. Just try to forget about them, it will lessen the pain. 

[Photo: pexels]

Glue together a house of cards. 

Sure, you could actually build a house of cards, but where’s the fun in that? Save the stress, just glue it together. Arts and crafts are fun!  The members of your household, and those you send a picture to, will be incredibly impressed with you. Who doesn’t love validation from others? 

 

Re-watch that one Netflix series again, again.

Oh, what to choose, what to choose. Friends? Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Louis Theroux? Black Mirror? The list goes on and on. Hours feel like minutes when you are binge-watching a show. There is a comfort in revisiting familiar faces and familiar stories and finding comfort in the small things is ideal in our current circumstances. 

 

Plan what you’d do if you went on ‘Hunted’.

“I think I’d be so good at that show,” says literally everyone. The premise of the show is that you have around 25 days to go on the run in Great Britain, whilst a team of highly trained police, intelligence personal and on-foot teams try to find you. Not to brag but if I were on the show, I would be great. I can’t say why because I don’t want anyone stealing my idea. All I can say is that it includes six London Buses, a Gordan Ramsey Lookalike and bees. 

 

Above all else: stay safe and stay well. This is definitely the most important task of this list. Even us garbage people know that staying home will save lives. 

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